Statistical Analyst/Data Modeler

Position Description:
Within a higher plane of understanding than mere mortals can conceive, it is somehow predetermined that the statistician or data modeler is to be permanently confined to the dreary corners of offices where other more socially adjusted individuals can easily steer clear of interaction. Original thought is shunned allowing mental numbness to set in. We are all too aware of these general broad-brush descriptions of deep thinking decision scientists and we believe that there's a better way.

Be forewarned. If you are numb to new ideas, simply enjoying your skill at drawing a precise line from unwarranted assumptions to foregone conclusions, then this is not the job for you. If thinking inside the box brings you the comfort of your childhood binky and you don't want to let it go, then this is not the job for you.

We need informavores with the quantitative skills of the Heart of Gold's infinite improbability drive, the mental dexterity of a wet-wired Watson, and the creative drive of masterful artists like Beethoven, da Vinci and Zappa. You need to cherish original thought with a passionate focus on execution. We are looking for those outliers that just haven't found their distribution yet. Finally, we absolutely need the individuals that understand and appreciate the humorous, cultural and field-specific references herein.

Primary Duties and Responsibilities (apparently we need to stop having fun for a moment):

The statistical analyst and data modeler works with business owners and Business Intelligence team members to provide deep analysis and guidance on crucial business opportunities across many areas within the company. They draw upon their knowledge and experience in applied statistics, data mining, modeling, and forecasting to ensure that results are accurate and clear providing actionable opportunities for business leaders. Analysts must be detail oriented and highly aware of the impact of their analysis across the company. They take initiative, focused on finding innovative solutions for a myriad of business challenges.

Job Description (but seriously, did you catch the HHGTTG reference?)

• Collect data for ad-hoc and statistical analysis
• Clean data in preparation for analysis and modeling
• Perform statistical summaries and tests for relevant business questions
• Develop predictive statistical, behavioral or other models
• Perform statistical testing to enhance the predictability of deployed models
• Deploy applicable models for business use
• Summarize conclusions and solutions for presentation
• Develop strong relationships with subject matter experts

• BA/MS in statistics, other applied science field, or equivalent experience
• Advanced hands-on experience with all Microsoft Office software
• Considerable experience with statistical tools (e.g. SAS, SPSS, Minitab, R) and methods to incorporate statistical results into analyses
• Experience with data modeling and forecasting
• Working knowledge of standard querying with SQL
• Exposure to data mining tools and techniques
• 2+ years workplace experience
• Proven track record as a lead resource for the business
• Strong oral and written communication skills

• High sense of awareness
• Take initiative
• Work equally well individually or as part of a team
• Focused on listening
• Aptitude for new concepts, especially as they relate to technology and analytics
• Creative
• Curious
• Flexible and adaptable
• Adonis DNA

• Adaptations of traditional statistical humor and quips - 2
• References to the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - 4 (including abbreviation reference and this reference to those references)
• Use of terms not yet adopted by Merriam-Webster - 1
• Movie references - 2 (3 if you include the movie version of that which is referenced in bullet 2)
• Creative combination of a current-day AI system with science fiction technology - 1
• Reference to expired artists - 4 (3 named, 1 inferred)
• References not summarized here - 1 (well... now 0)
• Seriousness in finding the best candidate - p < 0.00000001