What are your favorite data mining jokes? Please add in comments.
Dan Levin, What is the difference between statistics, machine learning, AI and data mining?
- If there are up to 3 variables, it is statistics.
- If the problem is NP-complete, it is machine learning.
- If the problem is PSPACE-complete, it is AI.
- If you don't know what is PSPACE-complete, it is data mining.
... Face it - I'm your statistically significant other
Google Hilarious ad for Google Analytics:
Your search for Milk returned 52,256 results. Your top hit is "Milk of Magnesia"
and another Google Analytics ad
"78% of people who viewed chardonnay also bought "What To Do When He's Not That Into You"
THE TOP TEN REASONS TO BECOME A STATISTICIAN, from my.ilstu.edu/~gcramsey/Pearson.html
- Deviation is considered normal.
- We feel complete and sufficient.
- We are "mean" lovers.
- Statisticians do it discretely and continuously.
- We are right 95% of the time.
- We can legally comment on someone's posterior distribution.
- We may not be normal but we are transformable.
- We never have to say we are certain.
- We are honestly significantly different.
- No one wants our jobs.
"The primary purpose of the DATA statement is to give names to constants; instead of referring to pi as 3.141592653589793 at every appearance, the variable PI can be given that value with a DATA statement and used instead of the longer form of the constant. This also simplifies modifying the program, should the value of pi change."
"Our data analysis experts can't read your minds.
You're going to reach your own decision regarding hiring us,
even though it's the same decision we knew in advance you'd make"
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